On “spirited” vs. “bratty”
The word that distinguishes spirited children from other children is more. They are normal children who are more intense, persistent, sensitive, perceptive, and uncomfortable with change than other children. All children possess these characteristics, but spirited kids possess them with a depth and range not available to other children. Spirited kids are the Super Ball in a room full of rubber balls. Other kids bounce three feet off the ground. Every bounce for a spirited child hits the ceiling.
Raising Your Spirited Child by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka
Double the Spirit: The Little Empress & Stitch
The Little Empress is the textbook definition of a spirited child. She’s always in motion. She’s the world’s worst sleeper. She fixates on things and doesn’t. let. go. Despite her speech delay, she’s obviously crazy intelligent and hyper-observant. She can throw the most nightmarish tantrums and be the sweetest, most thoughtful child you’ve ever met… usually within minutes of each other. On a scale of 1 to 10, if your average child is a 5, The Little Empress is a 7 on a “good” day and can very well go past 13 on her worst. She’s just more of everything. I am constantly amazed at what this little girl is capable of. She will grow to be a force to be reckoned with… the catch is that The Hubs ™ and I need to be able to survive her, first.
But spirited and bratty are two different things. A spirited child can be bratty but a bratty child isn’t necessarily spirited. There’s a difference when The Little Empress is being spirited and when she’s being bratty. If she is throwing a tantrum because she needs something, the tantrum is met with understanding and helping her get through it. Her needs can range from the usual (hungry, tired, needs a change) to the sensory (needs to be spun, needs to hold something, wants deep pressure.) It sounds odd and I’m sure it must look odd to onlookers when I go through my bag of tricks to calm her. (“Want to hop? Want to spin? Want to be wrapped up like a mummy??”) Sometimes her spirited tantrums can last for a few minutes or up to an hour. The longer tantrums can be exhausting but when I meet her needs, she is fine.
Hitting, punching and willfully acting mean to others is not being spirited; that’s being bratty. Throwing a screaming fit because she wanted a popsicle for breakfast? Bratty. Hitting because she wants a certain television show? Bratty. Scratching because she didn’t get her way? Bratty. Being able to spot the difference is crucial to dictating how we deal with the issue. If she’s being bratty, she gets disciplined accordingly. No, you don’t get that popsicle. Cry all you want on the ground, if you want. Hitting or scratching? Banishment to the time out corner you go. We set very clear boundaries for TLE’s behavior. Now that she’s able to communicate better, we’re able to dissect her behavior more easily. Is she crying because she got over stimulated or needs stimulation? Or is she howling because she wants a particular toy? Just because I recognize that she’s spirited doesn’t mean I let her get away with being a brat.
I’ve seen quite a few moms label their discipline problems “spirited” to avoid admitting that they have a full blown brat. I dislike seeing parents call their discipline problems “spirited” and then blaming their child’s behavior on their “spirited” nature rather than calling it for what it really is. Being spirited or having sensory issues is not an excuse for being a brat. So please, if your kid is truly a brat, do the parents that have truly spirited children a favor and discipline your child rather than label them “spirited” in an effort to excuse their behavior rather than perpetuate myths about what being spirited actually is.
Read MoreUpcycle: “Work” Books
Now this upcycle is so simple that I don’t think I really need to write a tutorial for it. But I’m going to anyway. Sort of.
Take an old, large paperback book. (As a former IT ninja support peon person, I have a library of certification books laying around. Unfortunately, since the certification industry likes to change tests every, oh, three years or so, many of the books I still have are woefully out of date. This is a decent way to upcycle them. If you don’t happen to have a books from a former IT career laying around, you can use phone books for this upcycle.) Also grab a pair of scissors and duct tape.
Duct tape, duct tape, duct tape. It’s fun to say! 
[Note to self: Time to stop channeling Deadpool...]
Book, duct tape, scissors
Cover the book in duct tape and you have…
Duct tape "work" book
A DUCT TAPE COVERED PHONE BOOK!
Um, yay?
Whatever would you use this for? (Other than, of course, admiring your duct tape handiwork?)
Well, one of the first toys I noticed at The Little Empress’ developmental preschool were the duct tape covered phone books. They are a simple, open ended toy that can be used for anything from heavy work activities to strength building exercise to toddler obstacle courses. One day, as I arrived to pick up TLE from school, one of her teachers was sitting close by as TLE set up an obstacle course for herself and hopped from book to book. That was when I knew I had to add this to our home sensory toy collection.
So what sort of activities can you do with this deceptively simple toy? Stay tuned…
Read MoreActivity – Bottle + Pasta
Playing with Pasta
I’m always on the lookout for fun activities for The Little Empress to do after school and during the weekends. She does well in school but is very prone to meltdowns once we’re home. We’ve discovered that the key to preventing her epic meltdowns is to keep her busy with activities that appeal to her nearly insatiable drive for sensory input. As I am sure you can imagine, it is always better to provide a safe and fun activity rather than leave her to her own devices. (When left to her own devices shortly after she’d finished with this, she was upstairs climbing onto counters. Oi.)
This is a simple and fun activity that I copied from her school involving an empty parmesan bottle.
MATERIALS
- Empty parmesan bottle (with two different openings)
- Pasta (long & short)
NOTE: You don’t have to use pasta for this activity; it is just what I had on hand. Other fun objects that you could use include coffee stirrers, pompoms, chenille stems, whatever you have handy.
WHAT IT TEACHES KIDS
This activity helps teach kids about size (what fits, what doesn’t), fine motor skills (placing objects through small openings with precision) as well as provides tactile (handling the pasta) and visual stimulation (the shapes of the pasta and colors.)
HOW TO PLAY
Gather the materials and set them in front of the child. If they’ve never seen the activity before, demonstrate how the objects can be put into the container through the different sized openings. Have the child experiment with what will fit and what won’t fit. Another fun thing to do is figure out how to get all the objects out of the container once they are in.
The Little Empress showing off her handiwork
She’s seen it before at school so she was delighted to play at home. She happily dove into the activity which kept her busy for about a half hour as she stuck pieces of pasta into the parmesan bottle and then shook them out. It is pretty rare for something to hold her attention for so long so I was more than delighted with the results.
Shaking it out
And here’s another adorable photo of The Little Empress as she shakes the pasta out of the bottle. I just love the expression on her face.
Read More
Copyright
Text and photographs copyrighted by Michelle N unless otherwise noted.