Transition Meeting
Paint-covered TLE
At three years old, The Little Empress will no longer be covered by the county’s Early Intervention and her special education needs will be covered by the local school district. So today, I met with her current program coordinator, early intervention coordinator and a representative from the district’s special education program to discuss beginning the transition process. Basically, she’ll be re-evaluated by the school district in the next few months to see if she qualifies for services. The program coordinator at her current school and the early intervention coordinator agree that she does need speech therapy but whether or not she gets it will all depend on whether or not the school district agrees. And if they do, she gets a half hour per week with a small group of kids. Eventually, I’ll be provided with a list of local preschools that may be options for her. (Though the co-op preschool seems to be universally recommended and may very well be what we go for.)
And now begins the uphill battle, which I haven’t been looking forward to. Unlike our early intervention coordinator, I’m not getting warm fuzzies from the lady who is handling TLE’s transition to the school district. I don’t know, that may just be a first impression and hopefully, I’ll find out differently in the months to come.
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Another thing that has been on my mind is whether or not to get her assessed for anything beyond her speech delay. It’s been driving me crazy wondering if her speech delay, especially when paired with her social delay and sensory issues, may be indicative of being on the spectrum. If anything, I’m just hoping they’ll rule out the possibility of being on the spectrum so I can put my mind at ease. It looks like getting an assessment may also be an uphill battle. The EI coordinator said that, on paper, they’ll just see the speech portion and not really look at the social since her cognitive levels are developmentally appropriate. But, she said she’d fight for an assessment so I’ve got my fingers crossed that hopefully, I’m closer to an answer (or at least a resolution) than not.
Read MoreAssessment update
The Little Empress, avoiding the camera
Yesterday, The Hubs ™ and I attended The Little Empress’ assessment meeting to review how she’s progressed since we set some specific goals for her in June. Overall, her progress has been steady and consistent. Her gross motor and fine motor skills test at nearly 36 months old (!!); her cognitive and self-help abilities test at her current age level; but her social and expressive speech continue to be issues. At this point, she has more than a 50% delay in her expressive speech, which I wasn’t surprised about. What I was surprised about is that she is still testing at approximately a 50% delay socially. It is really sort of a head scratcher — she’s very friendly, she acknowledges that are kids around and she has some special friends that she shows appropriate affection with but she still doesn’t initiate play. New goals were set and now TLE has a bunch of new stuff to work on.We also confirmed that, yes, TLE will be at the center-based program until she ages out next March.
During the meeting, I was reminded about how absolutely lucky we’ve been with the county. When I joined a local special needs list, there was a lot of talk about how to advocate for your child and to push back when county denies services. Budgets are strained and they tend to try to cut corners were they can. We have a passionate case worker who advocates hard for her cases. She confessed to me that, if we had lived eleswhere chances are that TLE would have only gotten limited speech therapy which wouldn’t have helped her much at all. TLE’s speech therapist asked about the possibility of the county paying for more intensive speech therapy with TLE, considering her delays. I had already checked with our health insurance and they will not cover speech therapy that is not attributable to medical condition.
On the way home, The Hubs ™ and I discussed more things I can do at home with TLE to try to help her. That expressive speech component is important. I try my best not to compare TLE to other kids, reminding myself that she’ll gain speech at her own pace and that above all else, it is most important that she is healthy and happy. But it is still heartbreaking to realize that TLE isn’t like other kids; speech will be difficult for her for some time. While I know she’ll catch up eventually, I don’t want this to affect her self-esteem in the long run. And I know that the best way to do that is to continue to do what we’ve been doing: not comparing her to others, helping her when/where we can, using positive reinforcement and just loving and supporting her, no matter what.
Her therapists and teachers also brought up two more issues that we’re probably going to be dealing with for awhile. The first is TLE’s willful stubbornness. She simply refused to comply with many of the tests. The OT and her assistant had to jump through a lot of hoops to get her to do the gross motor tests. The program director, whom TLE loves, could not get her to comply with a simple game of peekaboo. She knew she could do it but TLE simply crossed her arms and shut her out. STUBBORN!! It is almost cute now but man oh man, I see a bumpy road ahead with her. TLE is very much about doing things her way. If it wasn’t her idea, it is hard to get her to go along with it. (I’d love to blame The Hubs ™ for this personality trait but sadly, I think she gets it from both of us. Add on top she’s an Aries cusp and we’ve got our hands full!!)
Another thing that the brought up was her attention span. Of course, toddlers don’t have much of an attention span to begin with but TLE’s lack of attention span also made it difficult for them to complete tests in a timely manner. Very easily distracted, she’d flit from activity to activity. And when she was done, she was done.
Oi. We’ve got our work cut out for us.
Read MorePrelude to School
Whew! I haven’t been to this much school since I graduated! I had to bring TLE’s immunization records and fill out some paperwork before she officially starts school next week. The director suggested bringing TLE along to let her get a better feel for her future classmates.
As soon as we walked up to the center, TLE jumped around excitedly to see the playground. There are two playgrounds at the center, each with different apparatus to help the kids with their motor function. Luckily, we were asked to come around playtime so TLE was able to join abunch of the kids on the playground. Then we moved inside and I worked on filling out paperwork while TLE had the very important task of trying out all the toys they have to offer.
The director filled me more on the program and gave me the breakdown of the class schedule as I filled out paperwork. There is a lot of free play as well as structured play to help the kids develop whatever skills they may be behind on. She also informed me of the open door policy — basically, I can sit in on the class whenever I want. This may just ease my Mommy-guilt.
We stayed for about an hour. TLE was allowed to roam the classroom, playing with whatever struck her fancy. And just about everything struck her fancy. She zipped from activity to activity, playing with blocks, the play kitchen, toy cars, balls, etc. I liked seeing how the teachers played with her, how they really got down to her level and explained things to her. The class is very small, maybe 8 kids to 2 teachers as well as additional volunteer aides and specialized therapists.
Later in the day, we attended an open house at the co-op preschool that I want to send her to when she turns three. Cooperative preschools are almost entirely parent run, with one paid teacher. I love this model since it is a perfect bridge between homeschooling and traditional schooling. There’s only one co-op preschool in the area so I want to be sure to get her name down as soon as possible. She loved the classroom and while she’s still too young to sign up for the upcoming school year, I’ll definitely have her name down for 2011.
I had a few concerns about preschool, especially since there’s no telling if she’ll still be delayed by the time she turns three. One of the parents that I talked to eased my fears. Apparently, this co-op is where the school district recommends for children who have aged out of the county early intervention program. Lucky! So either way, TLE would likely end up going to this co-op which makes me happy.
What doesn’t make me happy is the fact that I don’t know what we’ll be doing for elementary school. There’s an elementary school just a half mile walk from our home but I refuse to send TLE there. Unless TLE settles down a lot in the next few years (doubtful), I think that putting her in an overcrowded classroom will kill any chance she has academically. I remember being in a crowded classroom in elementary school and being frustrated that I wasn’t being called upon. (Yes, I was the annoying kid that always had her hand up.) Teachers said that I was disruptive or uninterested. Nothing could be further from the truth. I was frustrated and bored out of my skull because I wasn’t getting the attention I needed. If possible, I don’t want to put TLE in a similar situation.
There are two very popular charter academies in our school district but there’s a waiting list a mile long. It is all lottery and the idea that there’s nothing I can do to ensure that my daughter gets a good education makes me sick. All I can do is put her name down and pray really hard that she gets in. Otherwise, homeschooling becomes our other option. Luckily, there’s homeschooling through the district, which provides curriculum as well as teacher guidance once a month, which ensures that TLE would be following the same curriculum as her public schooled peers. Still, I’d rather that she was in the charter but I guess we’ll deal with that when it is time.
Read MoreStarting school
Here’s an update on The Little Empress’ speech issues that I mentioned before. I spoke with our case manager who put me in touch with a not-so-local children services center that works with developmentally delayed kids. (Not-so-local as in it isn’t as close as I’d like but certainly within a reasonable driving distance.) All in all, I’d say that it has taken about a month and a half to two months of paperwork and waiting to get the ball rolling on her therapy. From what I’ve found with other families that qualified for Early Intervention services, this seems to be about average.
We made an appointment to meet with the coordinator and take a tour of the facilities which seemed nice. TLE roamed the classroom while the coordinator explained the program. Basically it is a modified preschool program, five days a week, for kids ages 18 months to 3 years with some sort of developmental delay. Everything about it is like daycare or preschool for tots, with specialists to help them address their developmental challenges. Some kids in the program have speech delays, like TLE, while others may have motor or cognitive delays. We have another appointment next week to fill out paperwork and let TLE get acclimated to the environment before she officially starts school the day after Easter.
Wow. She’ll be starting school at the age of 2. I can just hear her screeching later on in life that her parents put her in school as a toddler, not even waiting until she was preschool aged. 
Sure, it is a modified school and specifically to address her speech delay but still, technically is school.
To be honest, I have mixed feelings about this. I worry about TLE being in an environment that is completely foreign to her. She hasn’t been away from me for more than two hours, at most, since I’ve been home. Her separation anxiety has gotten better but will she adjust quickly to the new environment? The coordinator assured me that all kids cry but will get used to the separation from their parents.
When I heard “group therapy” suggested, I had assumed that I would be with her. The idea of sending her off for care for a good chunk of the day had not occurred to me as an option. It got me thinking — what if being at home wasn’t the best idea for her? Is being at home with me the cause of her speech delay? Would she have fared better if we had put her in a mixed care environment like day care? And with these thoughts came the self doubts — am I a bad mother?
Since the school is about 15 miles from home, I’ll probably be better off finding a place to hunker down for a few hours than going home. Suddenly, I have a few hours to myself which is something I’ve been wishing for awhile now. I can work again, maybe do more than two or three pieces a week. With enough discipline, I can finish my first novel draft like I’ve been hoping to by June. I find myself excited, giddy even, with the thought of a few hours to relax with a cup of coffee and a stack of novel notes.
Then I sober at the thought of leaving my little one for hours in the care of strangers. Nice, well trained strangers but strangers to me nonetheless. I wasn’t planning on having her start school so soon. But I know that, at this point in time, it is for the best.
For now, she’s eligible for 6 months of therapy, to be reevaluated in September on her progress. Children age out of the program at 3 years old and then it is onto the school district. Hopefully she’ll catch up by then. But we’ll see how it goes.
Read More
Copyright
Text and photographs copyrighted by Michelle N unless otherwise noted.