Therapy

Goodbye, Explorers

Posted by Michelle on Mar 27, 2011 in Homeschooling, Parenting, Therapy | 0 comments

Nursery school graduate

On the Friday before her birthday, The Little Empress  got to celebrate her third birthday with her classmates. I baked cupcakes for the kids to eat at snack time and then bought a pizza for their lunch. Sadly, this would be her last day with her classmates as her program only covers from ages 18 months to 3 years.

After nearly a year of watching her other friends graduate out of the Explorers program and sit in the special Graduation Chair, she was so excited to get to pick out her two Circle Time songs and be presented with a certificate, hat and presents. TLE absolutely basked in the attention.

TLE has made such incredible strides in the class that it was very hard to accept that she wouldn’t be attending anymore. She went from being a somewhat aloof, tantrum-prone toddler with very few discernible words to a lively, friendly and chatty preschooler.

Playing with blocks on her last day

But all good things must come to an end at after graduation and a round of goodbye hugs, we bid goodbye to her Explorers teachers and friends. Her main teacher, Lisa, teared up a little bit when hugging TLE goodbye. I had some problems holding back tears myself!

I’ve had the opportunity to volunteer in the classroom and have seen first hand how the teachers interact with the kids.  One thing I really loved about the school was that the teachers really cared about the kids. They spend over 25 hours per week with the kids, more than most other preschool kids. That’s a lot of time for such small kids but the work that their teachers do with them is nothing short of amazing. I can’t thank them enough for being such an important part of TLE’s life for the past year.

In some ways, being part of this program has sort of spoiled us for other preschools. The teacher ratio is VERY low — about three kids per teacher — so each child got lots of special attention and support throughout the day. There was also a lot of support for their particular needs, like speech therapy and occupational therapy sessions, that were built in to each school day.

It was a bit of a shock — and disappointment — for me to realize that TLE will never, ever, get that kind of attention from a traditional school program ever again. Even the best private schools don’t have such specialized one on one attention. The exception, of course, would be to homeschool where she would receive all of the attention because she would be the only student… which is exactly what we’ll be doing.

Yep, we’ve made the decision to homeschool… at least for now. But more on that later

Speech delay? What speech delay?

Posted by Michelle on Dec 28, 2010 in Life, Parenting, Therapy | 0 comments

Out of the mouth of babes

I’ve been meaning to write about how The Little Empress’ vocabulary has really exploded in the last two months. Almost overnight, she began repeating more and more words and using new ones that we didn’t even realize she knew.  I attribute a lot of this to the visit with her cousins over Thanksgiving as well as the sheer amount of time we’ve been spending with her since then. The gain has been so significant, in fact, that I’m almost worried that she won’t qualify for speech through the school district anymore.

But all this was just leading up to tonight. Folks,  we just had a milestone of epic proportions. And what was that, you ask?

My lovely, darling daughter turned to me and proudly said, “Oh no! I farted, Mommy!”

Yep. As far s I’m concerned, she’s totally caught up to other preschoolers.

Can’t Rush Me

Posted by Michelle on Nov 15, 2010 in Conversations, Life, Parenting, Therapy | 0 comments

TLE, the cheeky Empress

The Little Empress recently added two new, long awaited words to her vocabulary:

“Mommy! Daddy!”

Before last weekend, she would say  “Mom” and “Dad.” Less often, she’d say “Mama” and “Dada”

I like the certain ring the words “Mommy” and “Daddy” have to them. I like this change.

* *

One of the more heartbreaking things about her speech delay is that we’re still waiting to hear her say, “I love you.”

We know she loves us. But sometimes, you just really… really… want to hear it.

But I can be patient for just a little while longer. If The Little Empress has taught me anything, it is that she does everything on her own terms, when she’s ready.  I know I’ll hear it, eventually. And when I do, I know that she’ll mean it and it will make hearing it that much sweeter.

Can't rush her -- perfection takes time.

Two steps forward, two steps back…

Posted by Michelle on Nov 5, 2010 in Parenting, Therapy | 3 comments

The Little Empress and the Fountain

The last week or so has seen a few setbacks for The Little Empress. We had started her potty training about two weeks ago. It was going well until she suddenly refused to use her potty one day. We’ve gone back from Pull-Ups to diapers; now she won’t even touch the potty. Her speech has also taken a hit. Though she still does talk, she’s been using less words and signing more, sometimes regressing into nonsensical strings of babble.We constantly have to remind her to “use her words” and have been met more with defiance and tears, much like we were in the beginning. She won’t say her name anymore when asked; she’ll say “me” or ‘baby” but refuses to use her name. Even though she has the words to get her needs met, she’s not using them. This, of course, means that she’s more temper tantrum prone than usual. This, coupled with her usual toddler issues — no means yes, yes means no, etc. — and we’ve just been run ragged.

I’m really at a loss for what can be causing this. There hasn’t been any major events or changes lately. It is kind of like she just decided, “Hey, I don’t want to talk, so I won’t…” and hasn’t. It has been frustrating all around and I’m finding myself really reminded of the days before we had her speech delay diagnosed. I’m sure it will clear up and we’ll be back to our normal soon. Until then, got to ride the wave.

I have to confess that this hiccup makes me a bit nervous about heading down to see the family for the holidays. TLE is notoriously unpredictable. Even though she sees my parents every week and my sister lives with us for part of the week, it is a crapshoot every week on how she’ll handle seeing them. For instance, TLE will sometimes walk through the house calling, “Auntie, where are you?” But when she saw my sister yesterday when we picked her up, she immediately started crying and even pushed her away when she got close. Sometimes, she’ll warm instantly and other times, she’ll be clingy for the entire visit. There’s just no way of telling how she’ll react to my in laws who, of course, love her to bits but who she sees rarely. All I can hope for is that she’ll warm instantly and save us all from having to explain her more… eccentric… behaviors.

Transition Meeting

Posted by Michelle on Oct 20, 2010 in Life, Parenting, Therapy | 1 comment

Paint-covered TLE

At three years old, The Little Empress will no longer be covered by the county’s Early Intervention and her special education needs will be covered by the local school district. So today, I met with her current program coordinator, early intervention coordinator and a representative from the district’s special education program to discuss beginning the transition process. Basically, she’ll be re-evaluated by the school district in the next few months to see if she qualifies for services. The program coordinator at her current school and the early intervention coordinator agree that she does need speech therapy but whether or not she gets it will all depend on whether or not the school district agrees. And if they do, she gets a half hour per week with a small group of kids. Eventually, I’ll be provided with a list of local preschools that may be options for her. (Though the co-op preschool seems to be universally recommended and may very well be what we go for.)

And now begins the uphill battle, which I haven’t been looking forward to. Unlike our early intervention coordinator, I’m not getting warm fuzzies from the lady who is handling TLE’s transition to the school district. I don’t know, that may just be a first impression and hopefully, I’ll find out differently in the months to come.

* *

Another thing that has been on my mind is whether or not to get her assessed for anything beyond her speech delay. It’s been driving me crazy wondering if her speech delay, especially when paired with her social delay and sensory issues, may be indicative of being on the spectrum. If anything, I’m just hoping they’ll rule out the possibility of being on the spectrum so I can put my mind at ease. It looks like getting an assessment may also be an uphill battle. The EI coordinator said that, on paper, they’ll just see the speech portion and not really look at the social since her cognitive levels are developmentally appropriate. But, she said she’d fight for an assessment so I’ve got my fingers crossed that hopefully, I’m closer to an answer (or at least a resolution) than not.

Special needs or not?

Posted by Michelle on Sep 17, 2010 in Parenting, Therapy | 4 comments

TLE’s recent progress assessment meeting brought up some thoughts I’ve been having since she entered the center based program. Most days, I do my best to avoid labeling TLE. I keep my head down and think about what she needs in an individual sense. I do my best to not think about what kids her age “should” be doing and instead concentrate on what she is doing right now. For the most part, this works. The fact that I’ve never been around small children and have no idea what to expect sorts of helps. (Does this count as willful ignorance?)

For a month or so after her initial assessment with the county, I found myself in a terrible funk and riddled with guilt. Why is she speech delayed? What did I not do? Did I not stimulate her enough? Did I not play with her enough?  I blamed myself for her delays. I cried thinking that I’m a horrible mother than didn’t do enough. I cursed myself. I thought  I worried that maybe we could have caught her delays earlier, gotten her help earlier. But I realized something important: she’s developing at her own pace. Being able to accept that has allowed me to move beyond wanting to find a reason why. Now I just want to concentrate on finding ways to help her. That’s where the “special needs” label comes in.

I’ve always been torn on the “special needs” label. I always considered her “high needs” but for some reason, the idea of her being “special needs” has been very hard for me to accept. The fact is that she is developmentally delayed and attends a special needs nursery school. These realities have been very hard for me to deal with.

On days that I’m faced with the reality of her delays, I find myself mulling over what she “should” be doing despite trying not to. On these days, I spend every waking hour that’s not spent attending to TLE is spent poring over literature or researching information about speech delays , sensory issues and how to help her. I look for activities that will address her speech and sensory issues. I keep journals and notes of her progress, writing down what she is doing at home and sharing it with her teachers and therapists. It is on days like this that I think about the “special needs” label and consider that it may be appropriate.

Yet when I see TLE’s classmates and the variety of challenges that their families have to contend with, I feel like I have no right to feel as out of sorts as I do. TLE’s classmates all struggle with challenges ranging from autism to cerebral palsy. Each of these children and their families struggle with a totally different set of challenges, all far more complex and with longer reaching ramifications on their entire family’s lives. I remind myself that speech delays are by far the most common developmental delay and that TLE will likely outgrow this delay in due time. Most of her classmates and their families will continue to face their challenges, head on, for their entire lives. I can’t help but admire their families for being strong in the face of their challenges.

I also can’t help but feel a bit of a whining maggot myself for worrying about our own.

A lot of times, I feel like I’m in no man’s land. On one hand, there’s plenty of support for families with special needs children. TLE’s school provides the parents with local special needs resources, generally tailored for families coping with serious challenges like autism or Down’s. I am also part of a local special needs mailing list which is very friendly and full of warm, supporting people. Yet reading about the daily challenges all the families deal with makes me feel like I’m feeling stressed for nothing. THEIR families deal with so much more; what am I complaining about?

At the same time, I know that I deal with far more than most typical parents do. My day… no, my life… is really centered around her and providing for her needs. TLE is a whirlwind of activity and can be volatile. It used to be that just about anything could set her off, from an unexpected change in activity to an item being given to her in the wrong way. (I am so very grateful that her inconsolable tantrums have improved to the point that they’re no longer lasting hours!!) I spend a good chunk of time researching ways to help her with her speech delay, learning what I can about sensory integration dysfunction and being proactive about her sensory diet. And I have to do all this while reminding myself not to be a helicopter parent, to set realistic limits and expectations and remind myself, above all else, that she’s far, far more than just the delays. That she’s a loving, vivacious child that depends on me to guide her lovingly.