To those without kids… (rant)
Warning: Rant ahead. This rant has been boiling for awhile but I’m annoyed enough to actually publish it. 
You have been warned.
As a parent, I am finding myself bristling a lot these days when reading my social networking feeds. I have quite a few friends who do not have children, some of whom are childfree. Which, honestly, is fine with me. I am not one of those parents who will espouse a misguided belief that one is incomplete without children. In fact, I respect folks who know, for whatever reason, that they don’t want children.
But if I read another status update about how annoying children are, I will have to smack someone. Hard. Upside the head with a truck, even.
Yes, children that tantrum can grate on one’s nerves. Trust me, I know. I have a champion tantrumer whose tantrums can and have lasted near two hours. But let me tell you something: that child is not out to annoy you. Trust me, you’re just not that damn special. So for the love of god, don’t act personally insulted that just because you can overhear a child tantrum, or that they’ve ruined your day and/or your entire outlook on children. Small children tantrum. It is normal. You, oh-insulted-one, most likely tantrumed as a child and embarrassed the everloving snot out of your poor parents at some point during your esteemed life. So quit with the holier than thou attitude. The End.
For the record, I can’t stand it when people assume that just because a child is tantruming that they are either a) being ignored or b) being bratty. Some kids, for whatever reason, due to sensory issues, special needs, etc. tantrum like they’re on fire and there’s nothing that can be done until it passes. And just because a tantrum lasts for god knows how long doesn’t mean that the parent is somehow absent or not taking care of their child. I can assure you that while I’m sure there are some douchenugget parents out there that don’t take care of their kids, this is probably not the case for most parents. In fact, I can attest to more than a few occasions when I’ve simply sat down and sobbed right along side my tantrum-prone child because I dared to change her diaper at the wrong minute. And absolutely nothing prepares you for the stares and the not-so-silent blame that you get when you seek help for a tantruming child.
And while I’m in a ranting mode…
To those that complain that folks bring their kids to conventions or geek parties or another function with adults… stop whining. Seriously. Geek parents do not bring their children to geek functions to piss off their childfree geek peers. We could really give a sh*t what you think. God forbid that a geek family want to do something together and include their children in their geekery. Granted, parents shouldn’t run over people with their strollers (that’s just plain rude) but blaming it on the kids? How’s that work? Blame the parents for being douches, not the kids for having been brought to the convention. Jeezus.
Toddler Craziness
Ever since The Little Empress became a toddler, I’ve continually marveled at the seemingly random thought process of toddlers. It just never ceases to amaze and intrigue me.
A long time ago, we got a large yellow rubber ducky blow up bath for The Little Empress. She bathed in it from the time she could sit up until she was a little over a year old. Since then, it has been retired to life as a diaper holder in our master bathroom.
For whatever reason, The Little Empress decided on Friday night that Mr. Ducky is the bestest. toy. ever. and insisted that Daddy bring Mr. Ducky downstairs for her to play with. Daddy complied and TLE spent the rest of the night toting this rubber duck bath tub with her everywhere she went. Mr. Ducky is easily just about as big as her and quite unwieldy but TLE still insisted on toting him around.
TLE thanking Daddy for bringing Mr. Ducky downstairs
On Sunday afternoon, TLE was playing on and off with Mr. Ducky as well as just running around like a maniac, per usual. Oddly, she’d chosen a pair of pink footie pajamas as her outfit of the day. (This after wearing mismatching pajamas when we went out yesterday. I let her out in public in the most horrific of outfits but she’s so proud to do so. Who am I to stop her?) Eventually, she settled down (somewhat) to watch a few episodes of Futurama with Daddy while I attempted to wade through my work backlog. It was a nice change of pace as The Hubs ™ has been working 12+ hour days for the past two weeks so I think both of them were happy to have some bonding time.
About an hour into Futurama, I hear The Hubs ™ call out.
“Uh, honey? We’ve got a situation here.”
Situation, huh? I pushed back my chair and started to make my way out of the office when The Little Empress ran out right in front of me. Grinning, she handed me the diaper off of her naked butt and then promptly ran off. According to The Hubs ™, she had suddenly tired of her pink footies and decided that she wanted to run around nekkid. She continued to run around the rest of the afternoon, happily bouncing from chair to ottoman and to the floor again, reveling in the awesomeness of being nekkid. It took me about two hours to convince her to at least wear a diaper. (I’ll defend other families’ decision to EC but we are definitely NOT an EC household!!)
TLE & Mr. Ducky
Oh well. At least I got a few photos to embarrass her with later in life. And really, isn’t that what digital cameras in the hands of mothers is all about??
Back to School musings
TLE and Lolos golf stuff
This photo has absolutely nothing to do with the entry. Oh well. (But is cute, yes??)
As I mentioned a few posts ago, The Little Empress is currently on vacation from her developmental nursery school so I’ve had her home with me for the past week and a half or so. Annoyingly, some financial issues came up that demanded that I work around the clock during her vacation. Not at all ideal since I had really counted on this time to be filled with fun activities for her. Despite that, I was determined to make the time to be with her. It was fun for both of us but I’m still woefully behind on my work
Working at home with a small child is difficult. Working at home with a small child that is as intense as The Little Empress is damn near impossible. I’ve been pulling some late nights after she’s gone to sleep in an attempt to try to catch up with what needs to be done. It isn’t working.
All this has got me reexamining the idea of homeschooling her. Homeschooling is an idea that I haven’t completely decided on. Between the school district’s test scores and the feeling that TLE may grow to be a “behavior” problem as she can’t. sit. still. (though who knows, she may outgrow this) I have my reservations about putting her in public school. Putting her in private school isn’t exactly an option, either. Which brings us to homeschooling. A strong advantage to where we live is that this area is filled with homeschoolers, though the majority are religious while I would opt for a secular approach. This would make us the odd ones out, as usual, and also makes material a bit harder to find.
But with the busy-ness of the last week, I’ve begun to seriously doubt whether or not I can homeschool. The time and effort involved in homeschooling is just insane. I’ve come to relish the break that I get with TLE being in school. Maybe it is selfish of me but it gives me time to decompress that I realized that I really needed. And I intend to continue to work from home. Especially as a young student, can I risk trying to balance my work and her school? Her education is of the utmost importance — would I be risking it?
More things to muse about as the years keep ticking away….
Gym and Lola’s House
For Day #3 of “Wear Out The Little Empress”, we went to a mother’s club play date at a local gymnastics center. I could barely get The Little Empress off of the trampoline. After all, who WOULDN’T love running and bouncing on a 20′ trampoline?? (A plus: her OT tells me that it is awesome vestibular input!)
J U M P !
After somewhat wearing her out at the gymnastics center, we headed off to Lolo & Lola’s house so she could get some quality time with her grandparents while I got some quality time (and aggravated my carpal tunnel) with my keyboard. Ugh, deadlines. But at least I got to take a quick break to get a photo or two. Here, my mom is holding her (you can see her hand trying to tickle TLE to make her smile. Didn’t work.) while posing her with a photo that her teacher took of her last week. One photo has nothing to do with the other but I think it looks funny. (Plus, I love the crooked, upside down sunglasses in the photo she’s holding. Classic toddler action!)
Double TLE
Later on, TLE decided it was time to practice piano. It is horribly out of tune right now but that didn’t stop TLE from playing. She looooooooves the piano at my parents’ house. Someday, we will move it to our house once we get the money for the move and a good tuning.
TLE and the piano
She got very into her piano playing at one point, banging on the keys with the utmost purpose. I see a tortured artist musician in the making…
Future experimental pianist
Obligatory Epic Poop Post
What evil lurks beyond this grin?
- Michelle: OOOOOOOOOOMFG.
- Michelle: DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOUR DAUGHTER JUST DID
- Michelle: She came up to me and was like, “Baby euw. Baby euw.”
- Michelle: She had a full diaper. So I was like, “Okay, I’ll change it in a second.”
- Michelle: She keeps tapping my shoulder. “Baby euw. Baby euw.”
- Michelle: Then she PUTS HER FULL DIAPER ON MY ARM.
- Michelle: SHE DONE TOOK IT OFF. POOP AND ALL.
- The Hubs ™: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA*SOB*AHAHAHAHA
- Michelle: I realized that she was telling me — “BIG BIG EUW! BIG BIG EUW!”
- The Hubs ™: If I could praise her from here, I would.
- Michelle: YOU SUCK.
- The Hubs ™: <3
ADDENDA: Poop was (thankGOD) contained within said diaper. But still. OMFG EUW.
Airport Fun
Back in June, her class subject was transportation and she learned all about planes.While we were at the farmer’s market, The Little Empress would look up and point at the sky at planes flying overhead. I remembered that the county airport was pretty close by and was a popular place for homeschool and mom’s groups to gather so the kids could watch planes. And all for the price of FREE. Who could argue with that? (If you have read more than one entry of this blog, I’m sure you have realized by now that I am a cheapskate so this should come as no surprise.)
I asked around to see if anyone from my mom’s group wanted to join us. (The more, the merrier!) As it so happened, S and her kids I and J were able to join us! We hadn’t seen their family in quite awhile since TLE’s been in school so I was so happy to be able to catch up to them.
At the Airport
Once we got to the airfield, I could see why this place is popular with the homeschool and moms crowd. The observation area is one, large FLAT and FENCED IN area for the kids to run wild. The Little Empress loves to test her boundaries and sure enough, she and her friends were trying to scale the chain link fence. Thankfully, they didn’t get too far. (Sadly, I did not get a picture of this!) Sadly, it doesn’t have any shade (why you would design an observation area with NO SHADE in an area known as Diablo Valley is beyond me) but were “lucky” to go when it was overcast and cool. (Summer? We haven’t had a summer.)
The kids loved watching the planes and helicopters takeoff and land. Well, honestly, it was just a few helicopters and maybe one or two planes. The kids liked them just the same. The vehicles were few and far between enough that I was too busy pointing out when one was landing to grab my camera and take a photo of one. (And… I forgot my zoom lens. Because I have no idea where I put the damn thing.) S brought trikes and scooters for the kids to ride in between planes. They had a blast riding their trikes and scooters. I was particularly impressed by the Red Flyer scooter which has a wider base for the little kids to ride on. Great design! I think I know what to put on TLE’s Christmas list 
Bleacher climbing
As the kids tired of the scooters/trikes and running around, they discovered the aluminum bleachers that faced the landing strip. They had an absolute blast clambering up and down the bleachers. J tried to get the girls to play “Follow the Leader” at one point as he deftly climbed from bench to bench and down to the ground. The girls were happy to do their own thing, jumping up and down on the top tier and just basically having a noisy, fun time.
It was such an awesome, free playdate! We will definitely be going back to the airfield as we get the chance to. 
Progress Report: Months 3 and 4
TLE feeding her baby
I didn’t get much of a chance to write about The Little Empress and her school so now that I’ve got a moment, I figure I may as well talk about that. During her third month of school, I had a few meetings with her teachers and program coordinators to discuss her developmental goals. It seems that she will be in the program until she ages out at 3 years old which is fine by me since she is making so much progress. She also had a home visit that went horribly. TLE is notoriously bad with transitions and the arrival of her teachers (who belong IN SCHOOL in her toddler world) showing up on her doorstep, was too much for her to take. She melted down into a tantrum that lasted over an hour. The upside was that her therapist and teacher got to witness first hand the behavior issues I’d talked about during her evaluation. They took some notes and talked to her OT. Later, her OT and I had a meeting of our own and developed a sensory diet for TLE which, so far, has helped a lot. She still has melt downs but the severity has decreased as has the length of her tantrums. (THANK GOD!! One hour tantrums nearly every day are not for the faint of heart.)
She had a mini-language explosion around the end of June and beginning of July. She went from having only a few sounds to suddenly she began mimicking words on a frequent basis — it surprised us as well as her teachers! The mini-explosion has continued through till August. She seems to be adding new words to her vocabulary every day. I don’t think she has more than 100 yet but she’s getting there! She’s begun to show that she likes animals, a lot. She seems to especially love monkeys! She still can’t say the word “monkey” but she’ll make the sign for “monkey” and make monkey sounds.
Two absolutely huge things that she’s done lately: Within the last month, she actually said her name!!! She won’t say it all the time if you ask her, “What’s your name?” but she has been able to say it once or twice when asked. AWESOME!!! Within the last week, she’s been using the word “me” and “mine”, something she hasn’t done before. I”m so happy that her language is improving so much! The upside is that now that she has more of a vocabulary, she seems to be far less irritable and less easily frustrated since we can better understand her.
I think one of the craziest things about her speech issues is the fact that she seems like she’s trying to say sentences. I’ve heard her say four word sentences like “Where did it go?” but this is rare. It is almost like she wants to run before she can walk. Another funny thing is that she doesn’t have a word for “yes”. She has plenty of ways to say “no” but “yes” is not a word she says. Her nod is absolutely adorable, though. Instead of just nodding her head, she has this funny tendency to nod with her whole body. It is pretty adorable.
Socially, she’s a little butterfly. She is the class hugger as she seems to like to hug just about everyone. She still especially loves her friend Mauricio — and will occasionally ask about him at home saying, “Muh-muh-muh” with this adorable little half smile — and loves to hug her teachers, too. I was a bit worried when she first started school as she had seemed aloof and disinterested in other kids her age when I’d taken her to playgroups but it doesn’t seem like she’s this way with her classmates at all.
At home, she’s started to do a lot more pretend play with her dolls and toys in the last month or so. In the photo above, she’s playing with her baby doll. She happily rocked, nursed and cuddled her “baby” and even put her in her booster seat so she could feed her while she was eating her dinner! She never did this before so I was pretty amazed to see how loving she was to her little “baby”. She also seems to love Pixar movies. She loves all animated movies but Pixar’s Up and Monsters Inc. seem to be her favorites right now and she will constantly ask to watch these two movies over. and over. and over again. She likes pointing out the characters and telling me if they’re “happy” or “sad”. Sometimes, when she’s watching a TV show, she’ll turn to me and say, “Help, help!” if the character on screen seems like they need help or are sad. She gets very into her shows now!!
Of course, she’s on vacation for most of the month of August. Yikes! Nearly three weeks of her at home every day… I almost don’t know what to do! Luckily, the OT and the OT intern at school provided the families with lots of fun activity ideas. I hope I can keep up with her!
Gift of Flowers
Flowers from The Little Empress
I confess that I’ve never been much of a flower person. I mean, I like flowers but I don’t grow flowers in my garden — my poor garden is a blog entry in and of itself…. — and I don’t have any flowers (or any plants for that matter) in the house. This has never been a conscious thing for me. It’s just, well, I’ve never really thought about flowers all that much except in the obligatory romantic sense.
Thank God I have The Little Empress to remind me that a simple gift like freshly picked flowers can be a real joy. She loves flowers and constantly points out flowers whenever she seems them, signing and saying “fwah-fwah” which is her word for “flowers”. On a recent trip to my parents’ house, my mom took The Little Empress outside where she picked some “fwah-fwah”. She happily rushed right back, absolutely brimming with pride and give me the flowers she had picked. Sadly, I was absolutely exhausted and napping so I did not wake up.
Later, my mom and my sister told me about how TLE tried to give me the flowers. I just about cried. I called TLE over to me, hoping that I hadn’t hurt her feelings by not waking up when she first wanted to show me the flowers. Luckily, I didn’t. She was so happy to show me the ‘fwah-fwah’, proudly proclaiming the big bunch of flowers “mama” and the littler bunch of flowers “baby”. (So. damn. cute!)
As I’ve gotten older and more cynical, I’ve tended to look view gifts as something more obligatory than heartfelt. This tiny, heartfelt gift from my 2 year old daughter this really touched me and reminded me that despite my own cynical point of view, life (and childhood) can be such a beautiful thing.
The concept of size
During the week, The Little Empress and I drive on over to my parents’ house a half-hour away so she can spend some time with her Lola. (BONUS: I can either nap and/or get some work done! YAY!)
Last week, after waking up from one of my glorious, 2 hour (non-toddler-attached-to-boobie-so-I-end-up-with-a-crick-in-my-neck) naps, my mom happily reported that The Little Empress has a new little game. She would line up cologne bottles according to their size. “And then she would go down the line, saying, ‘Dada’, ‘Mama’, ‘Ah-tee’ (Auntie) from largest to smallest.” TLE then went searching for a tiny little cologne bottle which she then happily proclaimed, “Baby!”
Aww! That was really quite cute. I hadn’t seen her do that before. And I’m ecstatic that she understands size concept. Way to go TLE!!
A few days later, on a whim, I decided to clean out the refrigerator. (Why? I have no idea. I was just standing there on a lovely, Friday afternoon and thought to myself, “This would be the perfect time to clean out my fridge. Because, you know, there’s not a MILLION BETTER THINGS I could be doing now.”) As I emptied out the vegetable bins, I placed a potato and an eggplant on the kitchen table.
TLE happily ran over to the kitchen table, inspecting the goods. “MAMA!!” she crowed, holding up the eggplant.
“Yep, I see it,” I told her. “That’s an eggplant.”
She furrowed her brow. “Mama!” she insisted, holding it up again. TLE then held up the potato. “AH-TEE!” she yelled. As if to clarify what she was talking about, again she pointed to the eggplant. “Mama!” And then the potato, “Ah-tee!”
“Oh yes,” I smiled. “That’s right. The eggplant is bigger than the potato.”
Her point made, TLE left the table to cause trouble elsewhere.
Meanwhile, I eyed the eggplant and potato. Yes, the eggplant is bigger than the potato. Like, twice as big as the potato. I wonder what TLE is trying to tell me.
Upcycle: “Work” Books
Now this upcycle is so simple that I don’t think I really need to write a tutorial for it. But I’m going to anyway. Sort of.
Take an old, large paperback book. (As a former IT ninja support peon person, I have a library of certification books laying around. Unfortunately, since the certification industry likes to change tests every, oh, three years or so, many of the books I still have are woefully out of date. This is a decent way to upcycle them. If you don’t happen to have a books from a former IT career laying around, you can use phone books for this upcycle.) Also grab a pair of scissors and duct tape.
Duct tape, duct tape, duct tape. It’s fun to say! [Note to self: Time to stop channeling Deadpool...]
Book, duct tape, scissors
Cover the book in duct tape and you have…
Duct tape "work" book
A DUCT TAPE COVERED PHONE BOOK!
Um, yay?
Whatever would you use this for? (Other than, of course, admiring your duct tape handiwork?)
Well, one of the first toys I noticed at The Little Empress’ developmental preschool were the duct tape covered phone books. They are a simple, open ended toy that can be used for anything from heavy work activities to strength building exercise to toddler obstacle courses. One day, as I arrived to pick up TLE from school, one of her teachers was sitting close by as TLE set up an obstacle course for herself and hopped from book to book. That was when I knew I had to add this to our home sensory toy collection.
So what sort of activities can you do with this deceptively simple toy? Stay tuned…
About
My name is Michelle. I write, I shoot and I mom, not necessarily in that order. I'm aware that 'mom' isn't widely accepted as a verb but I think it should be.I'm a self-professed geek and caffeine addict. (Some may argue that the latter is a requirement of the former.) I live with my husband and our daughter in the California Delta.
Want to know more about us? Click here.
Follow Me
