A long time ago, we got a large yellow rubber ducky blow up bath for The Little Empress. She bathed in it from the time she could sit up until she was a little over a year old. Since then, it has been retired to life as a diaper holder in our master bathroom.

For whatever reason, The Little Empress decided on Friday night that Mr. Ducky is the bestest. toy. ever. and insisted that Daddy bring Mr. Ducky downstairs for her to play with. Daddy complied and TLE spent the rest of the night toting this rubber duck bath tub with her everywhere she went. Mr. Ducky is easily just about as big as her and quite unwieldy but TLE still insisted on toting him around.

TLE thanking Daddy for bringing Mr. Ducky downstairs

On Sunday afternoon, TLE was playing on and off with Mr. Ducky as well as just running around like a maniac, per usual. Oddly, she’d chosen a pair of pink footie pajamas as her outfit of the day. (This after wearing mismatching pajamas when we went out yesterday. I let her out in public in the most horrific of outfits but she’s so proud to do so. Who am I to stop her?) Eventually, she settled down (somewhat) to watch a few episodes of Futurama with Daddy while I attempted to wade through my work backlog. It was a nice change of pace as The Hubs ™ has been working 12+ hour days for the past two weeks so I think both of them were happy to have some bonding time.

About an hour into Futurama, I hear The Hubs ™ call out.

“Uh, honey? We’ve got a situation here.”

Situation, huh? I pushed back my chair and started to make my way out of the office when The Little Empress ran out right in front of me. Grinning, she handed me the diaper off of her naked butt and then promptly ran off. According to The Hubs ™, she had suddenly tired of her pink footies and decided that she wanted to run around nekkid. She continued to run around the rest of the afternoon, happily bouncing from chair to ottoman and to the floor again, reveling in the awesomeness of being nekkid. It took me about two hours to convince her to at least wear a diaper. (I’ll defend other families’ decision to EC but we are definitely NOT an EC household!!)

TLE & Mr. Ducky

Oh well. At least I got a few photos to embarrass her with later in life. And really, isn’t that what digital cameras in the hands of mothers is all about??

TLE and Lolos golf stuff

This photo has absolutely nothing to do with the entry. Oh well. (But is cute, yes??)

As I mentioned a few posts ago, The Little Empress is currently on vacation from her developmental nursery school so I’ve had her home with me for the past week and a half or so. Annoyingly, some financial issues came up that demanded that I work around the clock during her vacation. Not at all ideal since I had really counted on this time to be filled with fun activities for her. Despite that, I was determined to make the time to be with her. It was fun for both of us but I’m still woefully behind on my work

Working at home with a small child is difficult. Working at home with a small child that is as intense as The Little Empress is damn near impossible. I’ve been pulling some late nights after she’s gone to sleep in an attempt to try to catch up with what needs to be done. It isn’t working.

All this has got me reexamining the idea of homeschooling her. Homeschooling is an idea that I haven’t completely decided on. Between the school district’s test scores and the feeling that TLE may grow to be a “behavior” problem as she can’t. sit. still. (though who knows, she may outgrow this) I have my reservations about putting her in public school. Putting her in private school isn’t exactly an option, either. Which brings us to homeschooling. A strong advantage to where we live is that this area is filled with homeschoolers, though the majority are religious while I would opt for a secular approach. This would make us the odd ones out, as usual, and also makes material a bit harder to find.

But with the busy-ness of the last week, I’ve begun to seriously doubt whether or not I can homeschool. The time and effort involved in homeschooling is just insane. I’ve come to relish the break that I get with TLE being in school. Maybe it is selfish of me but it gives me time to decompress that I realized that I really needed. And I intend to continue to work from home. Especially as a young student, can I risk trying to balance my work and her school? Her education is of the utmost importance — would I be risking it?

More things to muse about as the years keep ticking away….

As predicted, TLE fussed enough during the ceremony that I had to take her outside not once but twice. The ride to the church was pretty long and the wedding was delayed for about half an hour so by the time the ceremony started, she had run through her tiny little well of toddler patience. The Hubs ™ offered to take her but TLE was starting to (loudly) crow for boob. I was left with the options of either ignoring her cries and letting her fuss, with the cry of “BOOB” ringing throughout the church or I could give in. I gave in for the sake of Blackberry’s wedding. This meant that I ended up missing a good chunk of the ceremony.

Of course, I brought along my dSLR. Blackberry had asked me months ago if I’d be their photographer. I declined because 1) I’m not that great of a photographer and 2) wrangling The Little Empress usually prevents me from doing anything other than, well, wrangling her. As it so happened, there was a communication mixup and our friend that she thought was going to photograph the wedding didn’t get the invite. (Ooops.) So the backup photographer ended up being the primary photographer while I ended up supplementing some shots.

I didn’t get quite as many photos as I would have liked. I was far too afraid of getting in someone’s way, blocking someone’s view or otherwise ruining someone’s experience to get in to get some of the shots I would have liked. I think this is why I know I could never be a great photographer. Great photographers aren’t afraid to get the shot. I’m a chickensh!t. Despite that, this chickensh!t photographer did at least get some decent shots, including one of Blackberry as she took her mom’s arm to walk her down the aisle. Blackberry later told me that she had only a handful of photos with her mom so this one would be extra special.

While I won’t share photos of the couple online, here’s a few shots I took of the decor and what not…

Bouqets on the train

Flowers at the church

Reception table decor

And of course, I have to include at least one picture of TLE and Daddy at the wedding.

TLE and Daddy

What evil lurks beyond this grin?

• Michelle: OOOOOOOOOOMFG.
• Michelle: DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOUR DAUGHTER JUST DID
• Michelle: She came up to me and was like, “Baby euw. Baby euw.”
• Michelle: She had a full diaper. So I was like, “Okay, I’ll change it in a second.”
• Michelle: She keeps tapping my shoulder. “Baby euw. Baby euw.”
• Michelle: Then she PUTS HER FULL DIAPER ON MY ARM.
• Michelle: SHE DONE TOOK IT OFF. POOP AND ALL.
• The Hubs ™: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA*SOB*AHAHAHAHA
• Michelle: I realized that she was telling me — “BIG BIG EUW! BIG BIG EUW!”
• The Hubs ™: If I could praise her from here, I would.
• Michelle: YOU SUCK.
• The Hubs ™: <3

ADDENDA: Poop was (thankGOD) contained within said diaper. But still. OMFG EUW.

But my love of Freecycle is sometimes trumped by my headdesking of Freecycle. I love the concept of Freecycle, keeping things out of landfills and what not, but I think too many people use it as a place to shamelessly beg for stuff. It is one thing to score something because someone is throwing it out; it is another to straight out BEG for something. And I know times are tough but somehow, begging for an iPod because “I really need an iPod with my lifestyle” doesn’t count. (I love my iPod too but no one needs one. Sheesh.)

But whatever, if the mods let it through, eh, at least I got something to snark at. (My life is filled with simple pleasures these days. When you’re broke, you entertain yourself with what you can, right? Right.)

What I don’t appreciate are emails in my inbox like this one I got recently after posting some stuff up for offer. (I always try to offer something in return for either asking or receiving something else. Remember folks, give a little, get a little.)

im due august 18th with a baby girl i have barely any clothes for her because my first doctor said i was having a boy so i spent all my money on boy things do u have any newborn to 3 months clothes socks bibs hats mittens anything that u dont need?

I sat there with my mouth gaping open for a few minutes. My mind was filled with things to retort with.

From the nice…

Babies just warm clothes, a place to sleep and a safe car seat. Your baby girl won’t care that her onesie is blue so long as Mommy loves her.

To the not so nice…

Baby girls can wear boy clothes, too. Or are you afraid it’ll make her a lesbian? (If so, what’s wrong with that?!)

To the flat out snarky…

I’m sorry, but can you repeat your request in English? I don’t speak Dumb*ss.

For the record, I emailed her back asking her to send requests like that to the Freecycle list and not to individual people’s emails, warning her that I would also report her to the mods. She hasn’t posted since.

Gee. I wonder why.

Anyhow, all of this was inspired by finding this gem of a site: FailCycle. A must-read for any Freecycle fanatic who has rolled their eyes at some of the posts that come through their local Freecycle lists. It looks like they haven’t updated in awhile but it is still amusing as heck.

The SDCC “God Hates Fags” counterprotest had the best, nerdiest signs ever.

Oh, how I wish I was there!!!!

Last week, after waking up from one of my glorious, 2 hour (non-toddler-attached-to-boobie-so-I-end-up-with-a-crick-in-my-neck) naps, my mom happily reported that The Little Empress has a new little game. She would line up cologne bottles according to their size. “And then she would go down the line, saying, ‘Dada’, ‘Mama’, ‘Ah-tee’ (Auntie) from largest to smallest.” TLE then went searching for a tiny little cologne bottle which she then happily proclaimed, “Baby!”

Aww! That was really quite cute. I hadn’t seen her do that before. And I’m ecstatic that she understands size concept. Way to go TLE!!

A few days later, on a whim, I decided to clean out the refrigerator. (Why?  I have no idea. I was just standing there on a lovely, Friday afternoon and thought to myself, “This would be the perfect time to clean out my fridge. Because, you know, there’s not a MILLION BETTER THINGS I could be doing now.”) As I emptied out the vegetable bins, I placed a potato and an eggplant on the kitchen table.

TLE happily ran over to the kitchen table, inspecting the goods. “MAMA!!” she crowed, holding up the eggplant.

“Yep, I see it,” I told her. “That’s an eggplant.”

She furrowed her brow. “Mama!” she insisted, holding it up again. TLE then held up the potato. “AH-TEE!” she yelled. As if to clarify what she was talking about, again she pointed to the eggplant. “Mama!” And then the potato, “Ah-tee!”

“Oh yes,” I smiled. “That’s right. The eggplant is bigger than the potato.”

Her point made, TLE left the table to cause trouble elsewhere.

Meanwhile, I eyed the eggplant and potato. Yes, the eggplant is bigger than the potato. Like, twice as big as the potato. I wonder what TLE is trying to tell me.

No, conversations like the following makes us geeks:

The Hubster ™: http://kotaku.com/5585676/double+decker-tvs-perfect-for-his-and-her-gaming Me: DUDE THAT IS GEEK LOVE. Me: I want that in the family room. The Hubster ™: Same The Hubster ™: Lets plan for it Me: AWESOME. Me: But we’ll need dual towers in the family room and some kind of comfortable set up so we can both play Star Wars The Old Republic MMO together. Me: (… damn, we are geeks, holy crap.)

As well as…

The Hubster ™: Also The Hubster ™: http://kotaku.com/5585447/this-chun+li-has-tiny-thighs Me: That is the cutest not-TLE Chun Li EVER. The Hubster ™: Yup Me: TLE should be old enough for cosplay next year. Me: What characters can we dress TLE as :/ Me: I was hoping for (Card Captor) Sakura but she’s no CCSakura.

Sakura Kinomoto (from Card Captor Sakura)

Me: Well, maybe (Street Fighter series) Sakura

Sakura Kasugano (from Street Fighter Alpha 2)

The Hubster ™: And yeah, she’s definitely more that Sakura.

Wow. I mean, effing wow. Not only is this 2 year old a 4 pack a day smoker, he’s over fifty pounds!

From the original article at The Sun (UK)

“He looks pretty healthy to me. I don’t see the problem.”