Mom, where’s my blog??
Warning: You’re about to read a rant.
–
As I mention in my obligatory About Me page, Mommy Misadventures is just one of my many online incarnations. I began blogging way back when in 1999 when Pitas — an online diary service — became popular in the various anime fandom circles that I was a part of at the time. The idea behind the service was to keep an online diary to write about whatever caught your fancy and allow folks online to read your thoughts.
Over the years, my various blog incarnations have captured my life as I knew it. I have written about my last years in college, forever memorializing a horrible commute, lack of money for coffee and worries about how to get a job in the Silicon Valley just as the dot bomb was claiming casualties over the Valley. Once I graduated and began (officially) living with the man who would become The Hubs, I moved onto the chronicles of a young professional, eking out a meager living, still complaining about my horrible commute and bemoaning the fact that I still couldn’t afford Starbucks. My blog followed has me not only from various services and domains but also to and from various jobs and homes and stages in my life, going from fully public to fully private and everywhere in between.
Arguably, my blog could be more correctly categorized as a journal because I have recorded actual happenings in my life for the world to see but not necessarily for my audience. For years, I wrote in my blog for one person and one person only: me. And for years, I was happy to blog. From 1999 to 2008, I could say that I recorded an entry for nearly every week of my life, if not every day for some days. Sometimes, I’d even have multiple entries a day.
That all changed in 2008 when I took the plunge to become a stay at home mom and embark on a new career as a freelance writer. At the time, it seemed like just about everyone and their grandmother (almost literally!) was keeping a Mommy blog. The media was all over the power of the so-called “Mom Blogger” and how Moms were changing the face of the Internet, one post at a time. As a longtime blogger, familiar with the ins and outs of WordPress, self-hosting and all that other rigmarole, I figured that Mom blogging would be a natural evolution and extension of what I had already been doing.
And in a way, it was. Choosing my domain, setting up my WordPress install, joining a few groups and letting folks know where my blog was… that was all easy-peasy. Been there, done that — it was nothing new, so I thought. About the newest thing I did was sign up for the BlogHer ad network. Ad revenue would be nice, I thought to myself, but if I didn’t get much in the way of it, oh well.
As I continued to blog, I began visiting other Mommy blogs in an effort to get to know my “neighbors” online and noticed that their sites were all festooned with things I hadn’t bothered with before — giveaways, affiliates, sponsors. I found myself having a bit of, well, Mommy blog envy. Look at these nicely designed sites! Look at these nicely designed buttons! Look at how easy they make it to add their RSS feed!
By comparison, my site looked… amateur. Really amateur. I didn’t have a nicely designed button or layout. Heck, I was using whatever old layout looked good to me at the time. Was that so wrong?
These Mommy blog sites, they had so much to read. It seemed that the majority of popular blogs that I came across had valuable tips and tricks, articles on things like homemaking, homeschooling, frugal living, all those sorts of things. And I couldn’t ignore the fact that these blogs had huge numbers of followers. On a good day, I would get happy over a comment or two on my blog. These blogs, they’d have one or two pages of comments per post. Crazy!
As I was starting to learn more about professional blogging as part of my freelance writing, I began to realize that more and more mom blogs were following the basic tenets of pro blogging: define your niche, craft valuable content, create connections with other bloggers and networks, etc. These blogs were pretty most likely because they had spent money on a professional layout, read up on and employed SEO techniques, had a Twitter and Facebook page which they used to promote themselves and their product.
I knew then what I needed to do to make Mommy Misadventures a “successful” Mommy blog.
Except… I just couldn’t do it. All that marketing, worrying about how to increase my readership and keep my readership, having to promote myself via Twitter and Facebook… it made my head hurt. I started blogging way back when for myself, primarily to have something of myself to look back upon. If others found it interesting, great. If not, it was no big deal. Similarly, I signed up for Facebook and Twitter when the services became available to interface with other people that I knew or would like to get to know. (Yeah, signing up for Facebook and Twitter as a communication tool rather than simply a marketing tool? Who woulda thunk it?!)
Simply put, I didn’t want to think of myself and my writing about my life as a product.
I discovered that blogging in this capacity,worrying about whether or not my content would attract visitors, just was not fun for me. I wanted to talk about my attempts at crafting, photography, homemaking and my work at home business but was unwilling to make any of those the Mommy Misadventures niche. Dejected from my failure as a Mommy Blogger and disillusioned by the larger world of Mommy blogs, I stopped blogging.
But I never stopped reading blogs. And while my Google Reader was filled various Mommy blogs, I found that while I subscribed to their RSS feeds, I generally never read their articles unless the particular subject really caught my fancy. And I deliberately use the word “article” here because, by and large, that’s what so many Mommy blogs published. They were articles on their niche subject, chockablock full of information but largely impersonal.
As I read, I realized that the Mommy blogs that I preferred to follow and read regularly were not the niche, article driven blogs. The Mommy blogs that I truly enjoyed were by folks who were unafraid to share their life — the good, the bad and sometimes the ugly — with their reader. These Mommy blogs gave a more real glimpse into Mommy hood, sharing snippets of their lives as mothers without having to tie in with a particular theme. These Mommy blogs were authored by real Moms, Moms who I could relate with, Moms who I honestly wished I could be friends with.
In short, the blogs I enjoyed reader were more in line with what I had hoped for on my own blog.
By the time I came to this epiphany — yeah, I’m slow — I had not blogged for several months. And you know what? I was miserable. I am a writer. I can’t not write. It is how I express myself, bad grammar, gratuitous usage of commas, semicolons and run on sentences inclusive. (Just in case you were wondering if I’ve ever noticed I use way more commas and em dashes than should be legal. Yes, I know. I can’t seem to stop, either.)
And for better or worse, writing online is my medium of choice. For me, it isn’t so much that I know I have an audience but rather the fact that I may possibly have an audience. If folks enjoy what I write, cool. If not, well, at least I haven’t left any question to how I feel on any given subject.
So as the days go by, you may see more entries on this blog. They may be about parenting. They may be links. They may be deeply thought provoking, bitingly sarcastic or profoundly stupid. They may be about whatever popped into my head that I just felt I needed to share and was too long for Twitter. But rest assured, there will be more to share. Will the content be valuable? I don’t know; you’ll have to decide for yourself if stories of chasing after my toddler yelling, “OMG, get that diaper off of your head!” is valuable to your life. It may be. It may not be. All I know is that I’m done trying to satisfy a niche. I never fit into them before and I certainly won’t try to squeeze into them now.
This is me and this is my blog. Hello. 
Identity Crisis
Ugh, writer's block...
The past few weeks have been pretty dismal for my writing muse. The picture above is a screenshot of my current dashboard which, if you’ll notice, is full of posts marked as DRAFT. These are all posts that I’ve started and just couldn’t find the heart to finish. On just the front page, I’ve got a whopping 14 unfinished posts, all written within the last week. There’s even more piling up on the pages behind.
As you can see from the titles, I’ve got (what looks to be) some interesting (I guess?) posts lined up, if I ever end up finishing them. It has been very hard for me to concentrate lately and I’m not sure why. Thoughts flit from here to there and I am finding it hard to just get any coherent thought to publish. When I do get something written, it often sounds just plain wrong and not nearly half as interested as it sounded in my head.
I know that I am self sabotaging and in the end, it hurts my blog. By extension, I also hurt myself since this blog has always been intended to be a jumping point to something more. And as I scramble to find more freelance work, I am realizing that one of the things that is hurting me is that I’ve yet to really understand what that “something more” is. Some times, I am afraid that I am sharing too much of myself and my family on this blog and others, I am afraid I am not sharing enough. And all the while, what do I want to achieve with this blog? Do I want to use it as a slice of life? Do I want to use it to help others?
I need to figure it out. 
It seems like the blogging (for revenue) world is all about niche, niche, niche. Find that niche, become the star of it! Drive traffic to your site! Comment! Round up controversy! Start discussions!! Get those hits!!!! IMPRESSIONS IMPRESSIONS IMPRESSIONS!!
And yes, all those exclamation points are necessary because that’s what the world of blogging for revenue feels like. And it sucks.
One of the biggest problems that I am having is that I’ve always used my blogs as a journal of my daily ins and outs. Sometimes, what I do during the day is of interest to people and other days, well, as the book says, No one cares what you had for lunch. (Well, unless you’re a food blogger like The Food Pornographer or Mmm-Yoso in which case everyone is obsessed with what you had for lunch (myself included).)
Mobloggin
Testing out the WordPress iPhone app, complete with a gratuitous TLE photo. Have to test the photo feature after all 
This is fun! More when TLE isn’t messing with things she shouldn’t be…
Rut
I seem to have fallen into another creative rut again. Drafts of posts and other things have been piling up in my WordPress queue as well as on my computer. Snippets of ideas here and there, begging to be fleshed out and completed but still sitting unfinished. More often than not, I find myself staring at a blinking cursor and an almost blank page. Sadly, my rut is deeper than just my writing. My poor dSLR has all but been shelved for the past several weeks. A bag of material, destined to eventually become a meitai, has been sitting patiently in the closet while my sewing machine has gathered dust in the bedroom.
Bah. Oh well, I’m sure I’ll drag myself out of this rut in the next few days.
One of the cool kids
Awesome! Mommy Misadventures has been added to the Moms channel at AllTop.
W00t!
Presenting… The Schedule ™
As I’ve mentioned in a few previous entries, Mommy Misadventures will now be following a posting schedule. Be forewarned, I tried to making up cute, day related names but failed miserably so just nod and say yes.
Menu Monday I’ll write about what I’m planning for our meals for the week with any relevant tips on grocery shopping. This will also be linked to Organization Junkie’s Menu Plan Monday.
Tutorial Tuesdays
Links to various craft tutorials from all over the web. I’m a beginning crafter so you won’t be seeing me make any of my own just yet
Delishiono Wednesdays First, I tried to think of a better name and all I could think of was “Wok Wednesdays” which was so bad that I just couldn’t bring myself to keep it. Inspired from my now-defunct Delisihono food blog, these will mostly be recipes, geared towards either make-ahead and may be followed in future weeks by leftovers made from previous meals.
Thoughtful Thursdays I’ll take a topic — which may or may not be related to parenting and/or home management — and expound on it.
Photography Fridays Link sharing about photography and may also include photos of my own and my experience taking them
So that’s it! There’s the schedule. I tried to include topics that I think are interesting and may be of value to others. Hopefully folks will find these topics interesting! And I’ll always post up my own random thoughts about parenting, life, etc. Like I said in other entries, this will always be a personal blog.
Tagged – 10 Things
I’ve been tagged by Cousin L!
A) First list 10 honest things about yourself – and make it interesting, even if you have to dig deep! B) Pass the award on to 7 bloggers that you feel embody the spirit of the Honest Scrap.
I love these meme-things. 
And talking about myself. But mostly meme-things that involve talking about myself.
1 – I never thought I’d be a SAHM and for awhile, I never wanted to be. I thought it would be boring staying at home “just taking care of the kids” and figured I’d just end up watching a lot of TV. I recall thinking, “How hard can it be?” You may throw things at me now.
2 – I gained a bit of notoreity during my junior and senior years as the honors student that almost never went to class. Thanks to the influence of my idiot!ex, I cut class for at least 50% of my junior and senior years. I was anorexic at the time and very sleepy due to poor nutrition so I slept during the classes I did attend. However, I did manage to turn in homework and pass tests including my end of the year AP exams. (Sadly, my truant attitude followed me to college where it really took a toll on my grades. DUH.)
3 – Despite being a lover of stories, I have not read a lot of novels. ducks books being thrown at me In high school, I read a few mandatory novels but spent most of my time reading and writing essays. When given the choice between signing up for AP Literature or AP Composition, I chose AP Composition. Oftentimes, the novels that I do read are either fantasy, sci-fi or embarrassingly trashy chick lit. I’ve never gotten around to reading the classics. My sister (who, incidentally, read my copy of Wuthering Heights while in the 3rd grade for fun), thinks that this is a travesty and has taken upon herself to draft a list of books for me to catch up on. 
4 – I have an on again, off again relationship with the Roman Catholic Church. While my faith in God has never been at issue, my trust in the Church and her views is something that I’ve wrestled with and will likely continue to wrestle with for the rest of my life. The logical thing to do would be to leave the Church completely but I can no sooner leave the Church than I can stop being Filipino. Which brings me to…
5 – I have a somewhat dodgy relationship with my culture as well. I grew up in a town that had a huge Filipino population so I never had the problem of being the only Filipino kid in class, quite the opposite actually. My problem was that I never fit in with the other Filipino kids… ever. And believe me, I tried really hard. Eventually I found my niche but still don’t feel like I quite fit in with the Fil-Am community. I don’t know if I ever will.
6 – I never intended to get into IT. It was something I fell into after my other college plans crumbled around me due to laziness and young adult drama. Sometimes I think about what could have been but I’m happy where I ended up.
7 – I’ve begged for my life as idiot!ex held a knife to my throat. Why? Because I caught him cheating on me and threatened to leave. Sadly, that encounter broke my will and it took me years to leave. I’m determined to help The Little Empress grow a titanium backbone so she never has to deal with scum like her Mommy did.
8 – I love looking at kitties and think they’re adorable but am horribly allergic. Even so, I’ve considered adopting a cat. Yes, I’m insane.
9 – The Hubster ™ and I don’t wear our rings. Like, ever. I mean, they’re nice and all but we’re just not into jewelry. I think I’ve worn mine maybe for a week or so at a time. I rarely wore my engagement ring so this isn’t new.
10 – I was, am and probably always will be a hopeless fangirl. I am a collector of trivia and memorabilia of various fandoms in anime/manga, comics, TV, etc. I’ve written stories starring other people’s characters. And those crazy girls that pair up their favorite characters from anime, comics, tv, movies, books, etc. in absolutely inappropriate, completely unplausible couplings (or triads or quads or… you get the picture) doing things that wold make hard core pr0n stars boggle? Yeah, I’m one of them. I have squeed over various pairings, read and made impassioned arguments for and against certain pairings (or triads or quads or…). Granted, I am not as much as a fangirl as I used to be and many of my ships have sailed into the ether that is the interwebs. But there’s no use denying that yes, I’m still a fangirl.
… and if I didn’t scare people away with that revelation, I will be truly amazed.
Now I should be tagging 7 people to do this but I’m not sure if 7 people even read this thing. Hmm. So I’ll cop out and “tag” whoever wants to do this. YOU’RE IT!
Wow! WordPress 2.7 – Coltrane
So WordPress just came out with a new version — WordPress 2.7 Coltrane. While I haven’t updated this blog yet, I have to say that Coltrane is quite sexy looking.
Yes, I called a blogging app “sexy”. Sue me, I’m a geek. Obviously, I need to get out more.
Anyway, 2.7 has a wonderful new customizable dashboard as well as post page, easier comment management and you can move the little boxes to suit your need. COOL… and more importantly, useful. I like useful.
So why haven’t I upgraded, you ask? Simple. First rule of anything IT related — before implementing any change, test, test and hey, test again. Of course, in the real world, sometimes it goes more like…
Management: It’s something we don’t fully understand but it is NEW! Implement NOW. IT: No. We need to test it first. Management: NOW. IT: But we really ought to test it first…. Management: NU TEKNALOGEE NAO!!!! IT: sigh implement – And then everything breaks in the most spectacular fashion ever. – Management: WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?! FIX THIS FCK UP NOW!! IT: *grumble
(And some people wonder if I miss my former career )
Besides, I learned my lesson with upgrading before testing to make sure all my plugins worked. I rely on plugins for several things so I’d rather make sure they worked before moving on to new, shiny technology.
But oh baby, when all my necessary plugins are 2.7 compatible, I am so upgrading.
Catching up…
Oh my poor, neglected blog, how I have missed you! I haven’t written in you since November… which was only about a week and a half a go but that’s a lifetime in blogtalk. I had been writing up a bunch of plans for a revamp of this blog, start getting some actual useful content to go along with my blitherings and maybe get a project or two up to see.
The blog revamp has been slow as I am still testing stuff on my test server. I have several yards of fabric waiting to be washed and pressed before being made into whatever I’ve planned for them, which I’m hoping will be a reversible pouch and a meitai. Daily life and happily, my freelancing has been keeping me busy. (waves to folks stopping by from Freelance Parent ) I’m happy to write stuff to add to that portfolio of mine. Yay
But the one thing… or should I say person… that has been keeping me busier than anything else is, as always, The Little Empress. In the last week or so, The Little Empress has learned to creep. OH DEAR GOD SHE IS MOBILE. She is creeping around, her arms dragging her body with her legs sort of helping. She’s amazingly fast and ever since she’s realized that she can get around on her own, she’s been more than happy to do so. Gone are the days that I could leave her on the couch without worrying about her rolling off. Now instead of rolling off, I’m afraid she’ll creep off!
As proud as I am of my little girl for growing up, I can’t help but be a little sad, too. Time marches on and every day, she’s getting closer to walking away from me. 
100 Blogs to Inspire
via I’m an Organizing Junkie – 100 Blogs to Inspire You to Be a Better Person
Everyone’s got things that inspire them and it never hurts to find a little bit of inspiration every day. This list is long and has the must read sites for things like Organizing, Personal Development, Simplifying Life and more. While I haven’t looked at all 100 blogs on the list — good god, who has the time?! — a few of my standbys are listed. It’s worth a glance.
About
My name is Michelle. I write, I shoot and I mom, not necessarily in that order. I'm aware that 'mom' isn't widely accepted as a verb but I think it should be.I'm a self-professed geek and caffeine addict. (Some may argue that the latter is a requirement of the former.) I live with my husband and our daughter in the California Delta.
Want to know more about us? Click here.
Follow Me
