Ms. Independent

February 25, 2010 · Posted in Observations, Parenting

As The Little Empress’ 2nd birthday draws ever closer, it seems that she is growing exponentially more independent by the day. She started walking and standing around her first birthday. Around this time, she also began to refuse to be spoon fed. Rather than fight about every meal, I would simply cut her food into manageable pieces and put them on her tray for her to feed herself.

A few months after that, as she became steadier on her feet, she began to balk at being worn despite having been worn nearly every day of her life prior to that. She was insistent on being allowed to walk and explore for herself. As she gained more mobility, she began to balk at being put in her high chair. We ended up selling off her high chair, allowing her to sit in a booster seat. The booster seat didn’t last long as she realized that the adults in the house didn’t use boosters. For at least the past few months, she has been sitting at a regular chair, just like the adults. (Unfortunately, she also insists on sitting in regular chairs at most restaurants which, as you can probably imagine, is troublesome.)

These days, she’s asserting her continued growing independence by successfully thwarting baby gates and insisting on going down steps on her own. She’s been climbing up the steps for quite awhile but climbing down them, and throwing herself onto the floor if we try to carry her, is a new thing. She now insists on being allowed to walk and explore when we go shopping rather than be content to sit in the shopping cart.

The change in her in just a year has been incredible. She’s gone from an almost excessively clingy baby who screamed incessantly when approached by strangers to this insatiably curious, gregarious and social toddler. She still has her shy moments but for the most part, she’s happy and well adjusted.

The Hubs remarked recently, “With all this breastfeeding and co-sleeping and such, she may be independent but hopefully, she’ll always know that she can come back to us.” And that’s when I remembered that this is why we’ve chosen to parent the way we have. Our goal has always been to meet her physical and emotional needs, no matter what they are. We have always sought to nurture her self-esteem, to let her know that she’s always loved, cared for and adored. The idea is that if she knows that she will always be unconditionally loved and cared for, she will have the self-esteem to explore and learn about her world without worry, knowing that we’ll always support her and that we are always here for her when she wants to check in.

And when The Little Empress begins to negotiate the stairs, she peers to the side and smiles as if to say, “Hey Mommy, look at me! I’m doing it all by myself!” before returning to the task at hand. She is not afraid. She has confidence in herself and knows that I am there to cheer her on.

I smile back and think to myself, “Huh, I guess this whole attachment parenting thing is working out after all.”