Posts made in July 14th, 2009

And back out again…

Posted by Michelle on Jul 14, 2009 in Life, Observations, Parenting | 0 comments

In an attempt to claw my way out of the pity pool, I present: The Toddler Manifesto. NOT written by me but instead one of those things that has circulated on the internet for god knows how long and unlike most chain emails, is totally true.

If it is on, I must turn it off.
If it is off, I must turn it on.
If it is folded, I must unfold it.
If it is a liquid, it must be shaken, then spilled.
If it a solid, it must be crumbled, chewed, or smeared.
If it is high, it must be reached.
If it is shelved, it must be unshelved.
If it is pointed, it must be run with at top speed.
If it has leaves, they must be picked.
If it is plugged, it must be unplugged.
If it is not trash, it must be thrown away.
If it is in the trash, it must be removed, inspected, and thrown on the
floor.
If it is closed, it must be opened.
If it does not open, it must be screamed at.
If it has drawers, they must be rifled.
If it is a pencil, it must write on the refrigerator, monitor, or
table.
If it is full, it will be more interesting emptied.
If it is empty, it will be more interesting full.
If it is a pile of dirt, it must be laid upon.
If it is stroller, it must under no circumstances be ridden in without
protest. It must be pushed by me instead.
If it has a flat surface, it must be banged upon.
If Mommy’s hands are full, I must be carried.
If Mommy is in a hurry and wants to carry me, I must walk alone.
If it is paper, it must be torn.
If it has buttons, they must be pressed.
If the volume is low, it must go high.
If it is toilet paper, it must be unrolled on the floor.
If it is a drawer, it must be pulled upon.
If it is a toothbrush, it must be inserted into my mouth.
If it has a faucet, it must be turned on at full force.
If it is a phone, I must talk to it.
If it is a bug, it must be swallowed.
If it doesn’t stay on my spoon, it must be dropped on the floor.
If it is not food, it must be tasted.
If it IS food, it must not be tasted.
If it is dry, it must be made wet with drool, milk, or toilet water.
If it is a carseat, it must be protested with arched back.
If it is Mommy, it must be hugged.
I am toddler!

And I take this moment to remind myself that the days are long but the years are so short. For all the moaning and griping I may have now about how little time I get to myself while raising The Little Empress, I will no doubt look back on these days and wish, oh so badly, to have her cling to me as she used to while she was a wee little thing that slept peacefully only when she knew that Mommy was there to guard her.

Eh, sometimes I just need to gripe in public to get a good grip on what really matters

Dip in the Pity Pool

Posted by Michelle on Jul 14, 2009 in Life | 0 comments

Once upon a time, catching a midnight premiere of a movie, going out to eat on a whim or even just taking a few hours to unwind was something I could do without much planning. Those days are long gone.

I mean, technically speaking, I could hire a babysitter. Except for the fact that The Little Empress doesn’t take to strangers very well and just barely takes to being watched by her Dad or Aunt for more than an hour at a time.

I wouldn’t trade my life for anything. Being a SAHM to The Little Empress is a blessing and something I will never, ever take for granted.

But that doesn’t mean that I don’t feel left out every now and then, even if it can’t be helped. Reading about what everyone is up to, hanging out and knowing that I couldn’t join in even if I were invited… it sort of hurts. And planning to go somewhere only to have TLE break down in tears before we leave because she’s teething or somesuch and deciding not to go for everyone’s sanity… well, it still sucks.

Such are the trials and tribulations of parenthood, I suppose.