The Little Empress has always been what you could call, uh, an acrobatic nurser. As she became more mobile, it seemed to be fun for her to turn nursing into some sort of infantile gymanstics event, twisting, turning and generally getting herself into some truly odd positions. She also has a habit of practically somersaulting from boob to boob, as though she’s trying to decide which side tastes better. As she’s grown, these gymnastics routines have been increasing in frequency and weirdness to the point that one of these days, I’m expecting her to nurse upside down, balancing a sippy on her foot. I’m sure that experienced toddler moms will assure me that this is, for all intents and purposes, all in toddler-day’s work.
As strange and gravity defying as these nursing routines are, they do not bother me. In fact, I welcome them because they show that The Little Empress is becoming more mobile and creative. (I had never really thought that “jungle gym” was in a mother’s job description; I guess I just never read the fine print.) Sure, there are days when I wish she would just lay there like the mostly-compliant lamprey newborn she once was but hey, it is a part of growing up.
What does bother me is the fact that TLE insists on twiddling whatever nipple she is not nursing on. Every. Single. Time. No matter how I try to cover up or protect myself, a free hand will come out of no where to twiddle. This is especially annoying in the middle of the night when she wakes up to nurse. No sooner than she latches on will that hand come up. In my head, I hear the Jaws theme as her free hand pats the boob, looking for her toy of choice and then… TWIDDLE! AAAAAAH!
Much to my annoyance, TLE is just a twiddler and try as I might, nothing will stop her from twiddling. Nursing necklaces offer no distraction — she simply eyes them, scoffs (I swear, she does scoff!) and then, with a maniacal glint in her eye, she goes after the nipple with even more gusto. A boob tucked securely into a shirt, bra, tank top or combination thereof, is also easily defeated. A hand shielding said nipple will get pulled at or otherwise she’ll try to force her hand under mine. A very persistent girl, TLE is. If I do not relent, the boob currently in TLE’s mouth will get chomped with enough teeth to injure before she moves on to bite the hand. OW!!
*sigh* At this point, I know there really isn’t much I can do to stop Ms. Twiddler. Something about twiddling settles her and like it or not, I think I have to just let it be. She’ll outgrow it. Maybe. At the very least, she will not nurse forever and someday I’ll laugh at it. But for now, all I can do is roll with the twiddles. Gyah.
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Text and photographs copyrighted by Michelle N unless otherwise noted.
Hello there! I read this and could swear it was a page out of my own life, I took have been a victim of twiddling and it is annoying to no end. It I try to stop it my girl become angry to no end. I have learned that it is something she just needs to do and tolerate it. Unfortunately I do get sore from it and patiently try to explain this to her but she will hear none of it. So I endure. I feel your pain and with you luck. You’re not alone!