Posts made in November 25th, 2008

The R Word

Posted by Michelle on Nov 25, 2008 in Media, Observations, Parenting | 2 comments

As I’ve blogged before, I get nervous when thinking about the economic dow– oh, for f*ck’s sake, people just call it what it is — A RECESSION. Capital R – E – C -E – S – S – I – O – N. RECESSION. That ugly time in the economic cycle when everyone has to tighten their belts, look at their finances and go, “F*ck.”

While watching the latest Momversation about talking to your kids about the economy, one of the moms was talking about how they would go to the bookstore and just buy their kids stuff without thinking about it. Now they had to stop doing that, woe is them.

And I thought to myself — “Shit, people do that?!”

I’ve never been what could be classified as affluent. Growing up, we had what we needed but not always what we wanted. I could wax poetic about my days as a new graduate during the dot bomb, when starving student turned slightly less starving young professional, still struggling to make ends meet.

I’ve never been able to go into a store, just buy whatever I want without thinking at least four or five times to myself, “Can I afford this? Do I really need this?” though I admit that sometimes the answer of “No, I can’t/don’t” didn’t always keep me from whipping out my handy dandy credit card. And yes, I learned not to use that damned thing.

Cutting back isn’t new to us and I’ve found that I’ve had to take it to a whole new level with the birth of The Little Empress, the purchase of our house and becoming a stay at home mom. Ironically, we have more money in the bank now in savings than we ever have before (which still isn’t much) but we’re also hyper vigilant about our spending. Every single expenditure is scrutinized with a magnifying glass. We’ve gone past the “wants” and “needs” debate and have come down to “how badly do we need this?”

Reading the comments on the Momversation blog make me wonder about the demographic that reads/watches it. I’d imagine most families with SAHMs are watching their budget; I certainly see enough posts and forums dedicated on frugality and simple living on parenting boards to believe that. Yet I question most of the Momversation panelists for being so… nonchalant? … about the recession. While I felt bad for that one mom who looked like she was in tears because she had lost her job and wasn’t able to give her kids the “friends” birthday party (you know, with the big blow up house, hired entertainers, etc.), I couldn’t help but think — is that what most people raise their children to expect? Books and toys whenever they wanted them? Huge birthday parties to impress their friends?

I could only DREAM of giving all that to The Little Empress. And if I had the means, I’d surely give it to her. But I try to be realistic about what I’ll be able to give to The Little Empress. If both The Hubster ™ and I worked outside the home, I imagine we could give The Little Empress all of that and more. Huge birthday parties. Toys galore. Clothing in all the styles she wanted. But we chose instead for me to stay home to raise her. Instead of lots of toys, she gets Mommy all day. And honestly, right now, that’s all she cares about. Toys? Bah. Who cares about the toy if Mommy isn’t right next to her while she plays? Who cares if we get her the latest books if it’s Mommy reading it to her (for the billionth time)? Certainly not The Little Empress.

One of the comments on the Momversation episode was that someone was cutting back on Christmas not due to the economy but because her kids didn’t really play with half of what they got for Christmas. Doesn’t that say something? That it’s quality not quantity that we should be aiming for?