Posts made in November 18th, 2008

Fun with Puffs

Posted by Michelle on Nov 18, 2008 in Parenting | 2 comments

Now that The Little Empress has gotten over her solids strike (finally!!) I decided to introduce her to the Gerber Puffs that I’d bought a week or two ago in hopes that she’d like to learn to self feed. We struck out then but it seems to be a hit now. Gerber Puffs are a sure fire way to keep her occupied at her high chair for me to do something like start prepping dinner or doing the dishes.

It took her awhile to figure out what to do with them. I can understand — everytime something small and interesting seems to be making its way to her mouth, she’s heard “NO!” but now she’s got Mommy sitting here like, “Eat it!” Babies get so many mixed signals.

Finally I had to eat a puff or two myself to demonstrate what she should be doing. (And sadly, I’ve eaten more than a few more because, well, they taste good. Like an airy, fruity Cheerio. I’ve just barely stopped myself putting them in a bowl and adding milk.) Baby see, baby do and she’s taken very well to picking up the puffs and bringing them to her mouth. I can leave her with anywhere from two to four puffs and she will very meticulously pick them up from her tray to bring them to her mouth.

She likes to chase the puffs around the tray. Sometimes they go out of reach and she howls for Mommy to bring them back within reach. But once they disappear, it’s doubtful that they’ve actually made it to her mouth. Sometimes the puffs are between pinched fingers, sometimes within a fist. The fist used to worry me until I realized how much she gummed her fist and slimed it up, therefore making the puffs

Every puff that I leave on her tray disappears; where it goes is anyone’s guess. I have my doubts as to whether more than 1 in 20 are actually making it into my child. I am beginning to find half-disintegrated puffs EVERYWHERE. In the crevices of her high chair. In her hair. On her leg. Yeesh.

Miyuki is absolutely THRILLED with this new eating adventure of The Little Empress’s because that means she gets to eat the leftovers! I’m sure more than a few puffs find their way to the ground and Miyuki, ever helpful, is there to lap up every single one. And in turn, Miyuki has found a new use for TLE who previously was just that little, funny smelling thing that kept Mom from giving her Pettings ™. Now, Miyuki has made herself TLE’s sworn protector and is always underfoot at snack time, praying that TLE will bless her with half-disintegrated puffs.

The Blue Uglies

Posted by Michelle on Nov 18, 2008 in To Be Sorted | 0 comments

This past weekend has been full of wonderful, warm sunny days with gentle breezes — perfect weather for going out and enjoying oneself with the family. There were a number of things that I could do: join the anti-8 protests, go to a babywearer meeting, go to the babywearing awareness walk at the Ferry Building in San Francisco, get out and about with the family….

Instead, feeling cynical and blue, I simply took care of The Little Empress and moped about for a majority of the weekend.

I don’t know why but for the past few days, I’ve just been… blue. There’s no other way to describe it. And it has me bewildered. I know I should be happy. I’m thankful for my current situation. But yet, there I was, feeling blue and beating myself up for feeling blue which of course makes feel more, well, blue.

I hate viscious cycles.

I look at the house and in my head, I can hear the echoes of my parents and in-laws telling me to keep it clean. As if I wouldn’t? And yet, nothing is ever clean enough. I can see dust there. This isn’t put away. The dishes aren’t in order. There’s dog hair in the foyer. The Little Empress’ toys are strewn about.

Every time my parents come to visit, they clean. And it irks me. Sometimes, yes, it does need a cleaning. But other times, no, it didn’t need a cleaning. To clean my house when it is already clean is insulting. I’ve seen dirty houses and mine isn’t dirty. Cluttered, maybe. Dirty, no. And yet, I have this feeling like they think I’m dirty and I’m letting my daughter roll around in dirty and I know it’s not true but to be judged by my parents and in-laws just irks me and…

And then the logical portion of my brain (yes, it is still there) slaps me upside the head and says, “Hello. They’re just being Parental ™, they only want to help and they’re not insulting you.” To which the illogical part of my brain didn’t hear because it’s already wringing its hands in the corner, calling herself a worthless, dirty person who lets her daughter grow up in a filthy house WHAT KIND OF MOTHER ARE YOU?

Yes, I have two brain cells and they fight. Constantly. Apply the same type of in-fighting to other areas of life (my writing, my hobbies, my parenting skills, my looks) and you’ve got the recipe for a blue mama.

*sigh* I need to find a way to snap out of this.