Posts made in November 14th, 2008

Mommy Moments

Posted by Michelle on Nov 14, 2008 in To Be Sorted | 0 comments

A few nights ago, I was holding The Little Empress in my arms as I normally do. She had been clingy all day — more so than usual, odd considering she’s almost always carried — and had been a little fussier than usual as I ate my dinner. But now that she was safely in my arms again, she relaxed and laid her head against my shoulder, her big brown eyes studying me.

Her chubby arm reached up and she patted my face, repositioning herself again to continue to gaze at me. And in her gaze, I can see how much she loves me, her mother. Because right now, in this moment, I am her Everything. To her, I am food, warmth but most of all, I am love. Then she sighed happily, the innocent sigh of a content baby, without a care in the world because she knows that Mommy is Right Here ™.

Even though The Little Empress is more than seven months old, moments like these really make me feel like her Mother ™ and in these moments, I feel the full responsibility of that title. It is hard not to be terrified of the heavy responsibilities of the days, months, years to come. Likewise, it is hard not to mourn the days already gone, the snuffly newborn days when we were both getting to know each other, those sleepless days and nights that would be a soggy blur had it not been for my journaling.  And yet, I look forward to the challenges to come, the milestones she has yet to achieve.